VB077 The Marriage Analogy (Eph 5:22-24)
The Marriage Analogy (Eph 5:22-24)
[Eph 5:22-24]
The Bible teaches about two types of love. From the Greek word agape[G26] (a-ga’-pee), is a deep unselfish love, mostly from the heart, the characteristic of God. God is agape (1Jn 4:8). And the Greek word phileo[G5368] (fiy-le’-o), which means; beloved, dear, to be fond of, friendly, mostly from the head, a brotherly love (Titus 3:15).
The Bible shows us how these forms of love operate between people and God. God loves you because it is His nature to love you. His love for you is not based on anything you do or don’t do. It has been His nature to love you before the foundation of the world.
You may say, “But I have failed Him.” His love isn’t based on anything you do. You were lost in sin, unfit, a child of the devil. Yet He found you and loved you with a real unconditional love, agape.
Agape love is like God’s grace, it is always abounding, aggressively toward you. This kind of love is based on the nature of the giver. Agape love doesn’t start and stop based on anything you start doing or stop doing. It is not based on your ability or performance.
Agape is glorified in phileo. We answered His agape with our phileo when we believed what He said. When you respond, God is glorified. God is abounding right now with “all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2Pet 1:3). Our faith pleases God, when we respond to His love and grace. We love Him because He first loved us, phileo.
The more I get to know my heavenly Father, the more my phileo matures into agape. When we move from phileo over into agape is when we adore and worship Him just for who He is, not because of His gifts. As our phileo develops into agape, we begin to initiate some intimate times with Him. When our love is perfected and we walk in deeper faith – it is our agape relationship that casts out fear (1Jn 4:18).
The Lord’s love for us can be seen in the husband-wife relationship.
It is interesting that in the Bible, a woman is never told to agape her husband. In contrast, every time the husband is told to love his wife, the Greek word agape is used. Hey husbands, you are to love your wife as Jesus loves the church. You are to love her whether she is lovely or not.
Just like our growing relationship with God, the more you know your spouse, the closer to agape you get. You go from infatuation to a deep love as time goes by when you have the love of God on the inside.
The world cannot have agape love because it is a supernatural love. God likes phileo love. He likes being a friend with you. But the world says, “I’ll love you if you will love me.” When one fails in a worldly relationship, it will die because phileo only runs so deep. A spouse fails and the devil divides the shallow relationship before the natural has the chance to become supernatural. Marriage council from God’s Word is the answer to successful family life.
Remember, the devil hates anything that has to do with family, because it is the ultimate plan of the love of God. But God has promised believers a supernatural marriage in Ephesians 5, a marriage that will not fall apart under pressure, because it is based on His example of agape love.
Eph 5:22 (NKJV) –Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Submission is a misunderstood word. People shy away from this word, because it has been misused so much. We need to understand the difference between submission and obedience. They are not the same.
Submission is an attitude. Obedience is an act. The husband cannot be a dictator or a tyrant. Jesus is never that to His church. A wife does not have to obey, but she is to submit at all times. If the husband demands that the wife go against the knowledge of God’s Word, in love, she should respectfully decline his demand since she knows it is wrong.
“If you are willing [submissive] and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land” (Isa 1:19). Even Jesus “humbled [submitted] himself by becoming obedient unto death” (Phil 2:8). Rebellion is not a lack of obedience. Rebellion is an attitude against submission in a person, even though he might obey. It is better to have a wife who is submissive and not obedient, than one who is obedient and not submissive.
The reason we can be both submissive and obedient to the Lord is because He is always right. We are to be submissive to our government but not necessarily always obedient (Rom 13:1-5). When our government tells us not to witness for Jesus, we should not obey it. That violates our commandment from God (Mk 16:15). We should still be submissive and not rebel. The disciples were faced with this situation (Acts 5:27,29; 5:40-42).
The best marriage is when the husband does not violate God’s Word as the head of his home. Many husbands do not give their wives anything to respect. Even submission becomes difficult. The main responsibility of the husband is to love and provide for the wife as Jesus does for the church. The wife can then submit and obey in all things.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” The husband is her lord in the natural (1Pet 3:6), just as Jesus is her Lord in the spiritual realm. A wife is blessed with two lords. When a wife quits fighting her husband and submits to his lordship, she becomes double blessed and provided for. This puts a lot of responsibility on the husband to treat his wife as Jesus does His church. Husbands, give your wives something to submit to.
[5:23] For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
The Greek word for “savior” here means “provider of everything.” Just as Jesus Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the wife. Both the husband and Jesus are the providers for their bride. The husband should provide love, protection, finances, comfort, companionship, and conversation. That is what Jesus provides for the church.
[5:24] Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Therefore as the church is subject (submissive) unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every situation.
Submission is always commanded in the word. Husbands should never use this scripture to abuse their wives. This verse is not teaching obedience in everything; instead, it is teaching submission. Wives are always to maintain a correct attitude of submission.
God bless you my friend,
